Monday 11 July 2016

Independence and Interdependence in a Relationship


There’s a lot of anxiety in most young people’s minds when it comes to marriage. How much of my independence will I be able to retain? Here’s how to deal with it.

Reasonable adjustments in priorities
There’s no doubt that after marriage you will be sharing your time with the special person, and therefore there would be a reasonable change in your priorities. But at the same time, it does not mean losing your identity or freedom.

Discuss your non-negotiables
If there are things that you would like to continue doing after marriage – like playing cricket every Sunday, participating in the women’s club, occasional hangouts with friends, continuing your music or dance classes twice a week, you can easily iron this out by being upfront and discussing it with your life partner before marriage.

Post-marriage happiness simply outweighs everything else
Your life partner is not going to control your life, if that’s your fear. Just like you stay with your parents and siblings and share and care, so is marriage going to result in certain adjustments. But the happiness far outweighs any little adjustments you make in your time and lifestyle.

Learn to be interdependent
A balanced relationship means understanding the minor changes each one has to undergo to nurture the bonds. This can come when both are aware of each other’s need for independence and space and respect that.

As you prepare to get married discuss things that matter to your independence and you will arrive at a balanced relationship, full of possibilities. Interdependence leads to healthy and happy relationship.

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