Marriage is not about coming together, but staying together
Find out how common goals and dreams can keep man & wife together for life.
Staying together is the ultimate fulfillment of life’s purpose. As months pass by, young couples get to know each other better and love begins to bloom. However, simultaneously the newly weds become aware of realities of married life and accept their new roles and responsibilities as the natural corollary of marriage. Instead of being hurdles to a lasting relationship, new responsibilities serve to strengthen the bond between husband and wife.

Whether it’s an arranged marriage or a love marriage couples soon find their way through the maze, acknowledge that they are no longer the centre of their universe and settle down for the long haul.
Coming together is just the start of a long and fulfilling journey called life. Getting to know each other, understanding the other, learning to make the other’s life beautiful all go a long way in bringing happiness to the home.
The typical couple these days is educated, economically independent and most often driven by common goals. The goals are again matter-of-course: buy a flat, buy a car and get ahead in their individual careers. Consciously many young couples commit their future incomes for the next 10-15 years. Husband and wife work hard to meet their financial commitments.
Next in the hierarchy of goals is a child. Unlike the days gone by a child immediately after marriage is not a sequential milestone. Children these days are part of the grand plan. All parents want the best education for their children. Couples from stable backgrounds plan for their child’s needs and education as they would their other major financial commitments.
Through this hustle and bustle of everyday life couples should quickly put aside minor misunderstandings in the interest of staying together and achieving their common goals.
When you have hurdles to overcome, emotional or financial, you will realise that you have only each other to fall back on. This, in fact, is the secret of happy couples.
Couples staying together is not merely the expectation of their two families or their immediate dependents; it is a tradition that is as old as the hills.
When Indian couples marry they do so not merely to come together, but to stay together for a lifetime, bound not just by their affection for each other but also because of their common goals and dreams, and ambitions they have for their children.
For them staying together is the ultimate fulfillment of life’s purpose.

Marriage is not about coming together, but staying together
Find out how common goals and dreams can keep man & wife together for life.
Staying together is the ultimate fulfillment of life’s purpose. As months pass by, young couples get to know each other better and love begins to bloom. However, simultaneously the newly weds become aware of realities of married life and accept their new roles and responsibilities as the natural corollary of marriage. Instead of being hurdles to a lasting relationship, new responsibilities serve to strengthen the bond between husband and wife.

Whether it’s an arranged marriage or a love marriage couples soon find their way through the maze, acknowledge that they are no longer the centre of their universe and settle down for the long haul.
Coming together is just the start of a long and fulfilling journey called life. Getting to know each other, understanding the other, learning to make the other’s life beautiful all go a long way in bringing happiness to the home.
The typical couple these days is educated, economically independent and most often driven by common goals. The goals are again matter-of-course: buy a flat, buy a car and get ahead in their individual careers. Consciously many young couples commit their future incomes for the next 10-15 years. Husband and wife work hard to meet their financial commitments.
Next in the hierarchy of goals is a child. Unlike the days gone by a child immediately after marriage is not a sequential milestone. Children these days are part of the grand plan. All parents want the best education for their children. Couples from stable backgrounds plan for their child’s needs and education as they would their other major financial commitments.
Through this hustle and bustle of everyday life couples should quickly put aside minor misunderstandings in the interest of staying together and achieving their common goals.
When you have hurdles to overcome, emotional or financial, you will realise that you have only each other to fall back on. This, in fact, is the secret of happy couples.
Couples staying together is not merely the expectation of their two families or their immediate dependents; it is a tradition that is as old as the hills.
When Indian couples marry they do so not merely to come together, but to stay together for a lifetime, bound not just by their affection for each other but also because of their common goals and dreams, and ambitions they have for their children.
For them staying together is the ultimate fulfillment of life’s purpose.

How to be the Right Person?
It’s normal to search for the right person in your journey to a happy marriage. But, it’s more important to be the right person, and be found.
The secret to a happy marriage lies in being the right person. Let’s take a look at what you’d like in the right person and you’ll be surprised how this helps you become the right one that everyone’s looking for.

1. Respects me
Exactly, we all need to be respected for what we are and our opinions. Remember, they’re also looking for the same. Begin to respect the people in your life and you’ll surely be liked by the person who’ll find you.
2. Understands me
We all want the world to understand us. The moment we begin to understand our brothers, sisters, parents and friends, we suddenly begin to see life become more meaningful. Relationships becoming enriched.
3. Supports me in my passion/career
With a bit of patience and without any expectations you must support your life partner in pursuing her or his interests. You will begin to see the reciprocation in love and the bonds will strengthen further.
4. Bonds well with my family
When you care and love the partner’s family, your partner will feel and understand the genuine warmth and love you have. In no time you’ll discover that your love for each other is growing faster than you expected.
5. Loves me
From childhood, we all long for love. We are trained to search and seek it. But, if we start loving someone we’ll discover new energy in us. Giving makes us more happy than receiving. Start to love and see the positive change in yourself.
Being the right person is the first step to a happy journey called marriage.

7 qualities you should look for in a life partner
As one considers choosing a life partner and settling down, what qualities to look for? Here are some important things to consider.
Respects your views
It’s not necessary for your partner to agree with all your views. But mutual respect for differences enriches the relationship.

Supportive of your passions
Your prospective partner must support your dreams, be it career or a hobby. That’s a sign of willingness to build the future together.
Gives you space
We have to accept the reality that despite marriage, we all need to have space to do our own things. Your partner must be willing to give that space, happily.
Trustworthy and responsible
Relationships are built on trust. He or she must check with you when in doubt. And be accountable for his or her decisions.
Treats your family like his own
A man or woman in love with you will always treat your family as his own. This is a very critical quality you should look for while choosing a life partner.
Is vulnerable
When you partner shares with you his/ her fears and failures, then the relationship is open and positive.
Willingness to share household chores
If the man is keen on helping with cooking and the woman on fixing the leaking tap together, the bonds of love strengthen.

Decided to Get Married? 5 Things Men Should Think About
For most men deciding that we’re ready for marriage is never an easy task. Here are 5 things to think about when you’re getting ready for marriage. Preparing yourself for a relationship is part of becoming a man.
Have you settled down in your career
While you’re pursuing a career and need to work long hours and travel hectically, you are generally reluctant to think about settling down. Because marriage means finding time to build bonds with your wife. One can’t do that without some stability in a career. So ask yourself if you have a stable career before looking out for a life partner.

Are you ready to provide for the family
From early times, man has been the provider. Of course, these days women have become an equal partner supporting the family in everything, including financially. Yet, as a man, you need to be confident that you can manage a family soon. And be willing to start this journey. If your finances are perfect, they you’re on a good wicket. Are you financially independent?
Are you ready to share your future
Marriage is a lifelong commitment. It’s a fulfilling journey from a man to husband to dad and more. The prime years of your life will be with her, planning and raising a family, buying a new home and growing old together. Your future will be together. If you’re ready, then start you search right away.
Are your willing to give some space
As a bachelor you had all your time for yourself. But as you prepare to find a partner for life, you must be willing to share some of your time and space. In return you’ll get happiness and joy never experienced before. Your companion will challenge you to become a better person and bring the best out of you. All you need to do is share your time make your companion your priority in life. Are you ready for this?
Marriage means some responsibilities
This is not to scare men, but they must be aware of the realities. That someone will be waiting for them at home, that they need to share time with their life partner, there are relatives to meet, parties to attend, festivals you can’t ignore and household chores to support. Be aware of these and you’ll have a fulfilling journey together.

Find out if the one you want to marry is the right person
It is important to get married to the right person rather than getting married soon.
When you are ready to marry be reasonably sure that you will be marrying Ms or Mr Right as this is probably the most important decision of your life.
And when you come face to face with a Miss or Mister how will you know that he/ she is the one? Fortunately there are important pointers that help you decide:
When you are with the right person you will feel good about yourself, safe and contented.
You will know you are with the right person when you feel support and encouragement for your emotional and intellectual growth.
Although expecting a spouse to make you feel happy all the time is unreasonable, being with the right person can make you happy and give you a sense of personal strength.
The right person will not be negative and weak. That person will not be silent, critical or lazy.
In the most successful marriages the spouses are the best of friends first and only then husband and wife. If you feel that the person you are with can be your best friend, then it is likely that you have met the right Ms/Mr.
The right person will be kind, considerate and polite. Little things such as saying ‘thank you’ and holding a door open may seem old fashioned, but they do reflect the character of the person you are with.
Having a partner identical to you in every respect can make life boring. That in itself could become the weak link in a relationship. The differences between the two of you could make life exciting and conversation with such a person can never be boring. However, having different likes and opinions is okay as long as the two of you agree to disagree.
The right person will communicate thoughts and feelings with you and will not keep their concerns bottled up.
Understanding that the only constant in life is change, the right person is willing to discuss marriage issues, questions and topics before you get married.
Trust must be the foundation for a strong long-lasting relationship. Miss or Mr Right is someone you should be able to trust.
The right person will be one who is willing to share the responsibilities of your home and future children.
Finding the right person doesn’t mean that the two of you won’t have difficulties or differences to deal with. However, with the right person you will know that the two of you will be able to work through the issues that could hurt your relationship.
The right person should not be one who tries to curtail your computer usage, or limit the amount of time you spend with others you care about.
You will know you are marrying the right person if your future spouse does not try to isolate you from your family and friends. You not only need to belong to family and friends, you have the right to do so.
The right person in your life will not try to control your life, but will want to share a life with you.
The right person will respect your need for privacy or time alone. You will know you are marrying the right person when you are not questioned about your need for time alone or personal space.
If you are considering getting married, make sure you are getting married for the right reasons. Talk to each other about important issues before you tie the knot.
Finally, even when you think you have found the right person, you may still have doubts. Having doubts about who you are marrying is not only normal, but also healthy. It is absolutely essential that you know the kind of person you are and the kind of person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
You and the right person will have similar goals and values in life. Often they will come from a family similar to yours, with a similar background.
It is a mammoth task to resolve so many issues in the few minutes that you get to speak with a prospective Ms/Mr the first time the two of you meet. But your powers of observation and intuition will tell you whether or not that person has the crucial character traits that you are looking for in a life partner.

Respecting each other’s space in a relationship
Respecting each other’s space is very critical to finding true happiness in a good relationship. This is true not just for couples, but any meaningful relationship in life.
“Like the bonfire which seems to tell us “you stay in your space and I in mine and I can give you warmth. If you step into my space I may burn you a bit,” explains Mahatria while talking about the need for personal space for an individual to grow and be happy.

Relationships are like two separate circles spaced apart, it can’t become one. It can only intersect and have a common area. There’s still my life and your life.
You will appreciate “our space” only when you step into “my space,” experience it and return. When there’s space for each other, it allows greater scope for bonding between the couple. It offers growth of one’s personality through the freedom to think and do things that are fulfilling for the individual.
It becomes easier to understand each other when you give the freedom to the other to enjoy their space. And when you constantly experience “your space”, the intersecting “our space” expands and becomes wonderful.
The bond between two people grows stronger when there’s space to breathe. Deeper the roots, taller the tree and stronger is an old Indian saying.

Why be Spiritually Intimate with Spouse
Spiritual closeness among couples is important to walk on a path that both can accept.
It has no grand ambitions, it has no rigid rules, it does not visibly manifest itself, it merely promises inner equanimity, like your shadow it walks by your side all through your life. It is your spiritual self.

We’ll define spiritual life as life that is focused on the human spirit. This is as opposed to material life whose focus is the human body and physical acquisitions.
Spouses are duty bound to first satisfy the basic needs of life. As long as this quest for the basic needs is within the bounds of conscience there is no clash between the material and spiritual life of spouses.
Why be spiritually intimate?
This is why spiritual intimacy between spouses is paramount. Husband and wife must discuss their spiritual life as often as they discuss their material life. Basic to a spiritual life is the desire for spiritual growth. Husband and wife should discuss what they value, what they hold sacrosanct and the beliefs that add purpose to their lives.
When couples do not stray from the established path they will be in a state of harmony with themselves and others and there will be harmony in both their material and spiritual lives. If on the other hand, couples desist from their perceptions of values and beliefs they will feel untrue to themselves and their spouses.
How do couples become spiritually intimate?
> A good beginning will be to discuss their values and beliefs.
> Accept the values and beliefs of the other
> Couples could pray together, meditate and involve in other spiritual activities.
> Be forgiving of the other’s shortcomings.
> Involve in acts of charity and other altruistic activities.
> Relax together.
> Don’t set the bar too high
> Accept the fact that in some cases progress can be slow.
Most couples readily agree that there is close coordination between them when it comes to issues in the material life. They readily agree that there is little or no conscious closeness between them when it comes to spiritual intimacy.
Spiritual intimacy enhances the bond
Not many couples are aware that spiritual intimacy improves contentment in their lives. It gives them greater control over their lives, helps build a positive relationship between them and adds purpose and meaning to their lives.
Whatever may be the existing level of spiritual intimacy between them, they have to start to consciously cultivate and strengthen a spiritual relationship. After all it’s never too late to make a beginning. And more importantly spiritual intimacy adds more fullness and meaning to lives.

Dilemma: Career or Motherhood?
Pursue your career or relinquish it for joys of motherhood – the choice is yours. You have worked hard on your career and are passionate about it or maybe you want to give it all up temporarily and settle into motherhood once you are married.
However, post-marriage things may change. The expectations from your husband and his family may be different from what you think. How do you manage this?

Firstly, you need not feel that you are losing control over your life. As an individual, you have the right to make your personal choices. Do not allow yourself to feel guilty about it. But remember, you no longer alone and that you’re committed to a life long relationship with your partner. And therefore such decisions must be taken jointly.
Take your husband into confidence and discuss your decision. There might be some chores that both of you may have to share and adjustments made to accommodate it. A bit of planning, prioritizing and defining tasks to be done will sort this.
Stop comparing motherhood to a job as both are strikingly different. Many women tend to view this like a career, trying to bake the best birthday cake or making sure the child is always at the top of the class. However, this can result in just a whole lot of stress as you try to outdo others. Learn to appreciate and value what your child has and do not see your role as one where your only mission is to turn out a super kid.
Where does your sense of self-worth come from? For instance, if you are a full-time mother, you will not be able to enjoy the same achievement and financial perks that working can give you, however do not let this thought pull you down.
On the other hand as a career woman, you could end up feeling inadequate on the domestic front, say having to miss out on a child’s sports meet due to work commitments or having to leave a sick child with the maid. Feel good about yourself and do your best.
Assert your identity strongly. Set personal boundaries as what you will do or will not. For instance, if you are a stay-at-home mom, chances are that you may be stuck with more than your share of household chores and even have working friends or relatives who request you to handle their work.
As a career woman, you may see this in the form of co-workers trying to push on more than your share of work. Learn to say no and learn to express your individuality. Whatever your choice, stand by it. Learn to take it in your stride.
Once you have made your decision, stick by it and do not have regrets. Every choice comes with its pros and cons, life is about making the best of it.

10 Ways to Better Relationship with In-laws
Life does feel really good for a couple when the bond is cemented by matrimony. Life is a celebration when the couple relaxes in sprawling coastlines or in rustic mountain resorts of amazing honeymoon destinations. And then, life gets real when marriage comes with a funny tagline – It is not just a union of two souls, but two families!
Here are 10 amazing ways to better relationship with in-laws.

1. Maintain discretion. No matter how good an equation you share with your in-laws, try to solve your interpersonal conflicts with absolute discretion. That way, you are less likely to be judged for your shortcomings.
2. Encourage family dinners/ outings. Involve them in family get-togethers. Know your in-laws well before you attempt to judge them.
3. Remember and wish them on special days. Warming up may be initially delayed, but it is definitely not denied.
4. Communicate correctly. Striking the right conversation with the right tone saves you from unpleasant situations.
5. Respect their knowledge. While you accept your in-laws, you should also look at their good side, which is most likely their knowledge and years of experience.
6. They are grandparents too. Children are routers that connect you and your in-laws. Need say more?
7. Be patient. Living with your in-laws and expecting mutual acceptance immediately cannot happen overnight. You need to work on it patiently, and with love and respect.
8. Be honest. Express emotions honestly yet tactfully keeping in mind, not to hurt their feelings. You will be understood better than you expect to be.
9. Accept them for who they are. It is not a great idea to expect your in-laws to change for you as much as you would hate changing yourself for them. So, if there is a part of them that you are unable to accept, do not talk about it.
10. They are family. Last but not the least; they are very much a part of your life. Remember, they gave birth to the person with whom you chose to spend the rest of your life with.
In every relationship you have to give something more than you take.

First fight – how do you deal with it
The first fight with your spouse can be seemingly difficult to handle. How to manage?
Patience, understanding and love will surely and steadily lead to a happy marriage. Here’s guidance to manage your feelings after the fight.

Ok, so you had your first fight after marriage and you are terribly upset over it. Understandably so. First fights can be particularly disconcerting because you are still getting to know each other and aren’t quite sure how to deal with tricky situations. But don’t lose heart – it is perfectly normal for couples to fight. In fact, it is a sign that your relationship is growing and that you are slowly learning to be more candid with each other.
Whether it was a minor tiff or a full-blown battle, the good news is that it is completely within your power to restore the peace and harmony in your relationship. How about trying some of these tips to ease out the situation?
Exercise restraint
In the heat of the moment, it is easy to say or do things you might regret later. At times like these, it makes more sense to back off from the scene and give yourself and your partner some space to cool off. Once you are all sorted within, it is easier to confront the situation and look at things from a more rational perspective.
Write it down
Sometimes, it can be rather difficult for a new couple to clearly spell out their true feelings, which can lead to frustration and resentment. Was it really the wet towel on the bed or has something else been bothering you which led to the outburst? It helps to recognize the root cause of discord and find ways to put that across to your partner. If talking about it face-to-face seems too overwhelming, why not write a heartfelt letter? This way, you will be able to convey your side of the story without any interruptions or arguments and your partner will get a chance to mull over your words with a calm mind.
Keep out the crowd
When you are upset, bringing your parents, in-laws or friends into the picture might seem like a tempting idea – but is seldom a good one. Sometimes, external intervention may worsen the situation and make your partner feel cheated and isolated. As a couple, you are indeed better off working on your differences on your own, even if it may take a little longer.
Unconditional love is the way to a successful relationship
Remember, a successful marriage isn’t one that is devoid of fights – it is one where both partners are willing to embrace the differences and love each other unconditionally. Your first fight is an opportunity to build the deeper foundations of your relationship. You will soon learn what works and what doesn’t with your partner; what ticks them off and what melts their heart.

Women show they care by talking, men by doing
Men and women share the same emotions such as love and affection but how they express them is quite different. Find out.
Men are conditioned not to express emotions
Men have been socially conditioned not to express emotions openly and they have problems expressing them in words. They want to feel in control of their emotions and show they care through actions. Women on the other hand are at ease expressing themselves through words.
Men separate their feelings from their thinking, thanks to the corpus callosum, the part of the brain which connects the left and right brain hemisphere. This means that contrary to the expectations of women fed on a diet of mushy romantic movies, they don’t spout poetry or whip up romantic dialogues at the drop of a hat!
Men need recognition, women need reassurance
Another key difference is that women feel cared for when a man recognises their emotions and feelings and empathises with them with reassuring words. Men on the other hand want their acts, talents and achievements recognised.
Men bond by doing activities together, wives can bring out their loving side by enlisting them to help with say baking a cake or cleaning the house. Make these routine chores acts of love by also using them as an opportunity to share thoughts.
Women bond by talking. However, do not jump into a conversation at any time. Wait for an appropriate time when your man is relaxed, for instance do not choose the time when your man just enters the home after a tired day to launch into a discussion.
Men buy things to show they care
When a man really cares, he will not just buy a random gift. He will make sure he chooses one that she will like. When a man gives a woman his time, this is a precious gift to be accepted with appreciation.
Men also show they care by mirroring body language, though this is quite subconscious. As your relationship continues to grow, you will find that you both are in tune in many ways. Maybe it’s the way he mimics your hand gestures while talking or the way you draw your eyebrows upward when surprised.
Physical touch is expression of love and care
Initiating intimacy and staying physically close are ways that men love to use to express their love. A casual stroking of the spouse’s hair, holding hands or putting his arms around her are ways that love is spoken without a word.
Men have the protective instinct and will take efforts to make a woman feel safe. This could be physical or emotional. For instance, a husband may ensure that emotionally painful news such as a friend’s betrayal is broken softly.
Men and women are unique
For a marriage to be happy, both spouses must accept that each has a different way of expressing love and appreciate them for what they are. Never try to compare your spouse’s way of showing love with another. Each person is unique, shower your love, give without holding back and it will return manifold to you. That is the beauty of true love, the essence of an emotion that will uphold the marriage.

How to nurture your relationship with your in-laws?
Aspiring grooms need to learn to put behind male prejudices and treat women as equals.
Today’s woman has earned the title “better half”. She is equally educated, independent and smart, speaks her mind and expects to be treated differently from her counterpart a few decades ago. And if men are to treat them as such, and as they should, they need to be prepared for changes after marriage.
There was a time when women were expected to go to work, do the shopping on the way back and then come home and do the housework all by herself. But that expectation is out of date.
Women also have careers. They are as ambitious as men, work long and tiring hours and earn as much as men. They are reasonable in expecting husbands to help with household work. Men should be prepared to put in equal hours at home as well.
As bachelors most men were carefree. They felt that if they contributed financially to the running of their parents’ house they fulfilled their responsibilities. But after marriage men should be prepared to put their bachelor ways behind them and share domestic responsibilities.
Men should be prepared to let women pursue their careers and passions and support them at every step.
Today’s women have opinions of their own and are not afraid to express them and men should be prepared to take such opinions into consideration.
Women’s dress codes have changed. They are no longer willing to be bound by tradition. Young men already know that young women have a dress sense of their own.
Aspiring grooms must know that she has a right to express her views and she will and that could be at home with her in-laws too.
Men should expect that their wives may want to go out with their group of friends occasionally because of the need for independence and privacy.
Men have to be prepared to be open about their liabilities and investments to their partners. It will make the couple feel secure about each other. And in case of emergencies the other half will know the kind of savings they have.
Today’s women are also bread winners. They are equally educated and work as hard. They have opinions, wish to be heard and demand an extent of freedom. It is the collective effect of this that has probably given rise to nuclear families.
Much of the happiness of modern couples depends on the extent to which young men are willing to treat women as equals and share domestic responsibilities. These are the new realities that aspiring grooms should be aware of while taking the first step to finding a life partner.

The beauty of marriage
What’s unique is that our spouse is the only relationship that we can choose.
Most of the relationships in life are not based on our choice – mother, father, brother, sister, and relatives. Even when it comes to friends, it’s mostly not a choice exercised by us. Just because we attend a certain school, college, live in a flat or colony we become friends with some.

But marriage is the only relationship…
- you can choose
- where you spend most of your lifetime
- share everything in life, physical and mental
Marriage is a great relationship that helps you discover a new dimension in you. It’s a path to fulfillment and happiness in life. It’s a natural way for males and females who are two different parts of life to come together and find meaning.
In fact marriage makes every human being complete. “Marriage is an opportunity to achieve a union that will open up a greater possibility,” says Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev in Three Truths of Well Being.
Marriage is the most important decision you’ll ever make in life.
The question then is are you investing enough time to choose
- the most important relationship of your life
- to find the person who cares for what you love
- to find happiness in your life

How to let go and forgive your spouse
Forgiveness is the first step towards healing in any relationship. How can you do it?
A compassionate heart, an open mind and a will to make your marriage flourish can make all the difference to the future of your relationship with your spouse.

Focus on the positives
Sure your partner caused you some pain by an act that was forgettable, but there must be many things about them that you love. Think of the times when your spouse went out of the way to please you or did something to bring a smile on your face. Doing so will remind you that your marriage is worth making the effort for, and will make it much easier for you to forgive your spouse. In the end, it is all about love.
Forgive from the heart
Whether you’re the husband or the wife, simply saying “I forgive you” does not amount to much if it doesn’t come from the heart. Your words may pacify your spouse momentarily but they will not lead to a peaceful resolution. It is important to internalize the feeling of forgiveness and come to terms with it. If you still find yourself thinking about your spouse’s mistakes and continue to bring them up in conversation, you probably haven’t forgiven them completely. Only when you are at peace with yourself, will you be able to maintain peace and love in your marriage.
Don’t dwell on the past
Nothing good ever came out of hanging on to old grudges. Raking up past issues and harping on your partner’s mistakes only compounds the feelings of negativity and creates rifts that are difficult to bridge. Every human being, including you, can make mistakes but how you let them affect your marriage is entirely your decision. Let bygones be bygones, embrace the present and work as a team to create a happy future.
It is for your own good
Bottled up feelings of hurt and resentment can eat you on the inside if you do not find a way to channel them out of your system. Not only do they make you a bitter and negative person, they also make your vulnerable to depression and health issues. Once you have addressed the issue with your partner and received an apology, it is in your own interest to treat the matter compassionately and bury the hatchet.
Resentment and grudges are toxins that threaten to weaken the foundation of your relationship if allowed to brew for too long. Letting go, on the other hand, lifts the burden off your chest and leads your relationship back on the path of normalcy. Which of these would you want choose?
We all have our imperfections, which is why nature has bestowed on us the ability to forgive. Forgiveness is a powerful human quality that gives a deeper meaning to our existence and helps us tide over life’s big and small obstacles.

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Gujarati community is deeply immersed in cultural ethics. They take great pride in celebrating their religious and cultural ceremonies with much devotion. They are vibrant and very lively. Hence, when it comes to Gujarati marriages, they consider it as a pious occasion that involves prayers, rituals and entertaining customs. Actually they are very eager to participate in most possible matrimony events and celebrate with great pomp and show. Gujarati Matrimony is famous for the entertaining events like music, beautiful dance, traditional garba, colorful clothing, and traditional cuisine.

Typically, the first formal approval of marriage in Gujarati community starts with the Sagaii or engagement. This is a traditional ceremony where in bride and her family members arrives to the groom’s place for formalize the marriage ceremony. At this time, generally they give holy items like kanku, sakar and shriphal to the groom’s parents to formalize the marriage between bride and groom. Now a day, there is little change observed in celebrating the engagement ceremony by exchanging the ring between bride and groom. This must be kind of innovation in celebrating events. And it is true that Gujarati community is known for their innovations and creation.

Gujarati is known for their traditional Garba and ideally they do not prefer to leave the wedding ceremony without celebrating it without this natural art of dance and garba. The night prior to the wedding day, the bride and groom families perform garba that fills the atmosphere of the venue with vibrant dressing and enthusiasm. Many Gujarati families even call professional singers or orchestra party for the entertainment. The idea behind these ceremonies is to enjoy, eat, drink, and dance with the feeling of togetherness.

Gujarati wedding is characterized with several pre wedding, wedding day and post wedding ceremonies. Pre wedding ceremonies are the significant part of the wedding ceremony to create a festive mood with family members. These ceremonies are performed individually at bride and groom’s place. Generally, the ceremonies celebrated prior to wedding are Ghari puja, Ganesh Matli, Ganesh Sthapan, Mandaap Muharat, Mehandi and Pithi. Almost all these rituals are performed in almost all the sub caste of Gujarati community.

Ghari puja is a pre wedding custom. The priest performs a puja with rice, wheat, coconut, oil, turmeric, betel nuts and number of other spices. The married women of the family grind the wheat on small old fashioned grinder which symbolizes the prosperity of the family. The groom offers handful of grains to the priest which indicates that although he is going to put his step into new lifestyle but he will always give a charity to his less fortunate family members. All this customs involves lot of family values.

Ganesh Matli is the ritual where in the bride and groom mothers dress up in their bridal finery and carry earthen pot full of water on their heads. They walk to their threshold of their homes. The son-in-law of respective families cut the water with the knife to ward off any evil spirits.  Ganesh Sthapan is the performed by the bride and groom parents’ individually which is considered auspicious for any important occasion. Mandaap Muharat is again the exclusive custom performed by Gujarati.  This ritual is about planting a holy Mandaap on the auspicious day and time. Mandaap is the kind of shelter created by cloth under which the marriage ceremony is solemnized.

Like other Indian matrimony, in Gujarati matrimonial Mehandi (Henna) is the ceremony performed wherein the bride, groom and their family members individually put on mehandi on their hands. Pithi is the ritual in which holy paste made from turmeric, oil, perfume and rosewater are applied to the bride and groom to purify them. The ceremony is again celebrated in their respective house with their nearest family members. The relatives sing traditional wedding songs by which the atmosphere becomes very lively.

Most of the Gujarati families also believe in performing Grihshanti puja before wedding ceremony which is having lot of religious values. This puja symbolizes to get blessings from the God to get prosperity, health, fertility and happy married life to the newly wedded couple.

Usually, Gujarati matrimony wedding ceremony observes very traditional ritualistic pattern which is very interesting to watch. Like traditional Indian marriages, Gujarati marriage is solemnized with Jaimala, Varmala followed by Kanya Daan and Mangal Phera. Apart from these ceremonies, madhuparka, hastamilaap and saubhagyavati bhava are the rituals exclusively celebrated in Gujarati marriage.

On the day of the wedding celebration begins with Jaimala wherein groom arrives at the wedding place. The bride mother welcomes him with the Jaimala and aarti. This is also known as Pokhvu.After Jaimala, usually gujarati bride arrives at the threshold of the wedding venue and place Varmala to the gujarati groom. Madhuparka is the custom wherein the father of the bride wash the groom’s feet. At this time, the sister-in-law steals away his shoes for which the gujarati groom has to offer money by the demand of the ladies to get back his shoes. This is one of the most fun loving events on the wedding day.

According to Gujarati tradition, the maternal uncle of the bride takes her to the mandaap to exchange the garlands. After exchanging the garlands, the bride’s hand is placed to the groom’s hand which is known as hasta milap. After hasta milap, the ritual called Kanyadaan is performed. In this ritual, the father of the bride gives her daughter hand in the groom’s hand. This is followed by mangal phera wherein the couple takes four rounds around the holy fire to solemnize the marriage. Mangalsutra is tied by the groom to the bride’s neck. Saubhagyavati Bhava is the ritual in which all the elder family members give their blessings to the newly wedded couple. In few castes, the elder married ladies of the bride’s family whisper their blessings into the right ear of the bride. Post wedding ceremony are celebrated with also very interesting which includes Vidai, Gharni Laxmi and Aiki Beki.

Vidai is having lot of emotional values where in bride leaves her parents house taking all the memories along with her. With this ceremony, she marks the beginning of a new life with her husband. Gharni Laxmi is the welcome ceremony of the bride to the groom’s home. Aiki Beki is strange but interesting and fun loving game played in the groom’s house. In this game, several coins and a ring are placed in a tray of water covered by milk. The game is played by bride and groom with the belief that one who finds ring for four times first would rule the house.

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