Tuesday 20 September 2016
More Details Visit Us On: www.lagnavidhi.comHow Healthy Couples Handle Tough Times
ough times are a reality for every couple. Couples may face major life transitions, such as a new baby, new job or retirement, said Susan Lager, LICSW, a psychotherapist and relationship coach in Portsmouth, New Hampshire.
They may face ongoing stressors, such as a spouse’s ill health or a negative work environment, she said. They may face losses, such as the death of a friend or family member, or a financial crisis. While tough times affect us all, they can pile on additional stress to your romantic relationship.
Healthy couples get through these tough times — and tough times can even help a couple get closer. Here’s how.
Healthy couples acknowledge the situation.
“They recognize that they’re in a crisis or challenging situation,” according to Ashley Davis Bush, LCSW, a psychotherapist who specializes in couples therapy. They don’t deny, disregard or minimize what’s happening.
Healthy couples turn toward each other.
One of the main hallmarks of a healthy couple is that they turn to each other for support and guidance, Bush said. “There’s a sense that they’re in this together.” They also empathize with each other, Lager said.
Healthy couples actively listen to each other.
“They listen to each other more carefully, and show more curiosity about each other’s perspective, experience and needs,” Lager said.
Healthy couples admit when they’re wrong.
Health couples “apologize when they behave badly, said Lager, author of The Couplespeak™ Series, which offers tools and tips for better relationships. This is in stark contrast to unhealthy couples “who rationalize or deny their hurtful or disrespectful behaviors.”
Healthy couples cope effectively.
According to both experts, healthy couples take breaks from the difficult situation. They make time to have fun together. They pursue healthy distractions, such as taking walks and watching funny movies.
They also have a broader perspective and adopt an attitude of “this, too, shall pass,” Bush said. “They can see [the situation] as a small piece in the puzzle of their lives and long-term relationship.”
“Unhealthy couples either drown in the problems, leaving no time to bond and refuel, or they collude to avoid the issues, they distance [or] they self-medicate through drinking, gambling, affairs, etc.,” Lager said.
Healthy couples support each other’s coping styles.
Partners recognize that they may cope differently, and they respect these differences, Bush said. For instance, women may need to talk about what they’re going through with a girlfriend while men may need to engage in activities like throwing darts with a friend, she said.
More Details Visit Us On: www.lagnavidhi.com
10 Important Things to Remember About
When it comes to relationships, there’s a lot of advice out there about what you should do differently or how you can make your divorce-proof your marriage. However, a lot of marital satisfaction has more to do with your attitude rather than anything else. Keeping your attitude in the right place can help you to have realistic expectations of your relationship and can improve marital satisfaction.
1. All Couples Have Problems
All couples have differences and that’s not a bad thing. If marriage were really easy, it wouldn’t help us grow as individuals or as a couple. The way you address your problems is what has the capacity to be a problem. Learning how to negotiate, cope and work together can make your marriage stronger.
2. Healthy People Make the Best Partners
If you take steps to take care of yourself, physically, socially, intellectually and emotionally, you’ll make a much better partner. It’s important to not just focus on your marriage, but to take steps to grow as a person that will excite, nurture, and care for your spouse. Give your spouse good reason to want to be married to you by taking care of yourself.
3. “In Love” Feelings Change Over Time
Those romantic feelings that caused you to get together in the first place weren’t meant to last forever. In love feelings change over time and you shouldn’t blame it on changes to your relationship. Instead, accept that it’s normal to grow a more mature sort of love instead of focusing on recreating what life was like when you were dating.
4. Intimacy is Built Over Time
Work on growing your intimacy and marriage over time. Sometimes couples feel the relationship grows stale and they think they know everything there is to know about their partner. However, there are always opportunities to learn more. Look for new opportunities to grow closer as a couple and you’re intimacy can continue to grow throughout the years.
5. Your Relationship Will Change Throughout Life’s Stages
Nothing in life ever stays the same. And as your life changes, your marriage will too. If you have kids, move to a new town, start a new job or have new friends, your relationship will change as well. But change isn’t bad and if you focus on keeping your marriage healthy, your marriage will adapt much easier to the changes.
6. You Have Control Over Yourself Only
Focus on what you can change and don’t waste too much energy trying to force your spouse to change. Your attempts to nag, beg and force your partner into submission are likely to take cause more problems rather than help. So, spend your energy working on making yourself the best partner you can be.
7. Making Marriage a Priority is Healthy
Don’t let your marriage fall to the bottom of the priority list. Sometimes kids, money, extended family, social relationships begin to take up so much time that there’s little room for the marriage. However, if your marriage is not healthy, your parenting, your relationships with other people, your income, and your job are at-risk of being negatively impacted.
Put your marriage at the top of your priority list. Make time for your spouse and work together on your goals. Don’t give in to any feelings of guilt if you spend time with your spouse. After all, what could be more important?
8. Learning and Growing Together Makes for a Happier Marriage
Work on growing together as a couple to help ensure you have common interests. And make sure to have interests outside of just raising the kids. Take up a new sport, venture to a new area, try a class together or pick up a hobby that you both enjoy. This can keep your marriage fresh and exciting and ensure that you grow together rather than apart.
9. It Takes Effort to Protect Your Marriage
If you assume that your marriage is good and nothing bad will happen to it, you’re at-risk of having something bad happen. It takes effort to protect your marriage from the outside world. This means guarding your marriage against the temptations of an affair. It also means setting healthy boundaries with friends and family members. Learning about relationships, attending counseling and working together should be part of keeping your relationship healthy and not a last minute effort to prevent divorce.
10. The Grass Isn’t Greener on the Other Side
Sometimes people think that the grass is greener on the other side. Daydreaming about what life could be like if you were single or if you had a different partner is dangerous territory. These thoughts don’t tend to be rooted in any sort of reality and can often make it feel like your marriage is holding you back in life. The realities of divorce or an affair aren’t pretty. Don’t waste the time you could be focusing on your marriage dreaming about how the grass could be greener.
Marriage More Details Visit Us On: www.lagnavidhi.com
When it comes to relationships, there’s a lot of advice out there about what you should do differently or how you can make your divorce-proof your marriage. However, a lot of marital satisfaction has more to do with your attitude rather than anything else. Keeping your attitude in the right place can help you to have realistic expectations of your relationship and can improve marital satisfaction.
1. All Couples Have Problems
All couples have differences and that’s not a bad thing. If marriage were really easy, it wouldn’t help us grow as individuals or as a couple. The way you address your problems is what has the capacity to be a problem. Learning how to negotiate, cope and work together can make your marriage stronger.
2. Healthy People Make the Best Partners
If you take steps to take care of yourself, physically, socially, intellectually and emotionally, you’ll make a much better partner. It’s important to not just focus on your marriage, but to take steps to grow as a person that will excite, nurture, and care for your spouse. Give your spouse good reason to want to be married to you by taking care of yourself.
3. “In Love” Feelings Change Over Time
Those romantic feelings that caused you to get together in the first place weren’t meant to last forever. In love feelings change over time and you shouldn’t blame it on changes to your relationship. Instead, accept that it’s normal to grow a more mature sort of love instead of focusing on recreating what life was like when you were dating.
4. Intimacy is Built Over Time
Work on growing your intimacy and marriage over time. Sometimes couples feel the relationship grows stale and they think they know everything there is to know about their partner. However, there are always opportunities to learn more. Look for new opportunities to grow closer as a couple and you’re intimacy can continue to grow throughout the years.
5. Your Relationship Will Change Throughout Life’s Stages
Nothing in life ever stays the same. And as your life changes, your marriage will too. If you have kids, move to a new town, start a new job or have new friends, your relationship will change as well. But change isn’t bad and if you focus on keeping your marriage healthy, your marriage will adapt much easier to the changes.
6. You Have Control Over Yourself Only
Focus on what you can change and don’t waste too much energy trying to force your spouse to change. Your attempts to nag, beg and force your partner into submission are likely to take cause more problems rather than help. So, spend your energy working on making yourself the best partner you can be.
7. Making Marriage a Priority is Healthy
Don’t let your marriage fall to the bottom of the priority list. Sometimes kids, money, extended family, social relationships begin to take up so much time that there’s little room for the marriage. However, if your marriage is not healthy, your parenting, your relationships with other people, your income, and your job are at-risk of being negatively impacted.
Put your marriage at the top of your priority list. Make time for your spouse and work together on your goals. Don’t give in to any feelings of guilt if you spend time with your spouse. After all, what could be more important?
8. Learning and Growing Together Makes for a Happier Marriage
Work on growing together as a couple to help ensure you have common interests. And make sure to have interests outside of just raising the kids. Take up a new sport, venture to a new area, try a class together or pick up a hobby that you both enjoy. This can keep your marriage fresh and exciting and ensure that you grow together rather than apart.
9. It Takes Effort to Protect Your Marriage
If you assume that your marriage is good and nothing bad will happen to it, you’re at-risk of having something bad happen. It takes effort to protect your marriage from the outside world. This means guarding your marriage against the temptations of an affair. It also means setting healthy boundaries with friends and family members. Learning about relationships, attending counseling and working together should be part of keeping your relationship healthy and not a last minute effort to prevent divorce.
10. The Grass Isn’t Greener on the Other Side
Sometimes people think that the grass is greener on the other side. Daydreaming about what life could be like if you were single or if you had a different partner is dangerous territory. These thoughts don’t tend to be rooted in any sort of reality and can often make it feel like your marriage is holding you back in life. The realities of divorce or an affair aren’t pretty. Don’t waste the time you could be focusing on your marriage dreaming about how the grass could be greener.
Marriage More Details Visit Us On: www.lagnavidhi.com
Sunday 18 September 2016
The Seven Stages of Marriage
There are lots of different theories about relationship phases and stages. The book, The 7 Stages of Marriage by Sari Harrar and Rita DeMaria is an excellent resource that really seems to grasp how marriage changes over time. It not only describes the changes but how to take action during each stage to ensure the health of your relationship.
As a couple grows and their lives change, the marriage is bound to change as well. As a couple moves through the different phases of life, they can expect their intimacy and communication to change as well. Understanding the different stages can help couples recognize what is normal and when there’s a problem.
Here are the seven stages of marriage:
1. Passion Stage- The passion stage is the first phase of the relationship. It is also known as the “honeymoon period.” During this stage there is a lot of excitement and the focus of the relationship is all about getting to know one another better. There’s also a lot of excitement around intimacy. Couples in this stage should be focusing on building their sense of identity as a couple and making time for another. Of course this stage is easiest for two young people who don’t have a lot of responsibility. When couples are getting remarried and have children and careers, it can be more complicated to devote time and energy to the relationship.
2. Realization Stage- During the realization stage couples get to really know one another, both good and bad. There may be a little less emotion and a little more rational thinking in this stage. During this stage communication is the key. It is important that both people are able to confide in one another and the couple is able to build trust with one another. Being able to really listen to one another is essential.
3. Rebellion Stage- During the rebellion stage an individual may be trying to assert himself more and is starting to look out for his own self-interests. Sometimes there are increased disagreements or even hidden power struggles brewing. It is important for couples in this stage to learn how to resolve conflict peacefully. Being able to keep promises, negotiate and compromise are all key to working through this stage. Also couples during this stage can learn to identify and appreciate their differences.
4. Cooperation Stage- During the cooperation stage, a couple is often more preoccupied with other things in life rather than each other. For example, a couple may be dealing with children, work, household responsibilities, volunteering and other tasks which can make the relationship seem less of a priority. Couples during this stage run the risk of becoming more like roommates or business partners rather than romantic lovers. During this stage it is important that a couple make their marriage a top priority. A regular date night and setting aside time to enjoy one another’s company free from life’s distractions can be helpful.
5. Reunion Stage– The reunion stage is often during the empty nest phase of life. After the children leave home, a couple has more time to devote to one another and their marriage. A couple in this stage can benefit from refocusing their energy and creating new memories together as a couple.
6. Explosion Stage- The explosion stage can happen at any point along the way. During this stage, a couple is experiencing a major change or crisis, such as a health problem or unemployment. It is important that couples in this stage pay attention to their needs and gain support as necessary to work through the crisis.
7. Completion Stage- A couple in the completion stage has ongoing stability and security. Together, a couple in this stage can appreciate one another and the life they have created for themselves. During this stage a couple can benefit from creating even more of a sense of meaning and purpose. For example, volunteering together or starting a side business just for fun may help a couple establish a new sense of purpose for themselves.
Recognizing the Stage You Are In
Although in real life, people don’t always move through these stages in a simple fashion, it can be helpful to identify which stage you identify with the most. Then take a look at how your relationship is evolving and how you can adjust accordingly to keep your marriage strong.
As a couple grows together, there is always a sort of push and pull. This push and pull develops as a couple grows together but also as individuals. Successful couples are able to navigate through the changes by evaluating their relationship and working together to maintain communication and intimacy.
What to Do if Your Spouse has Depression
Depression can take a toll on a marriage. When one partner is depressed it certainly impacts the other spouse. There are things that you can do if your spouse is depressed to help maintain your own mental health and also help the marriage.
Understand the Illness
Try not to take your spouse’s depression personally. Sometimes people think they can cheer up a depressed person or that their love alone will cure the depression. However, depression usually requires treatment in order to be resolved. Tradition treatment may come in the form of therapy, medication or a combination of the two.
Depression can make people irritable and angry in addition to sad. It can cause people to be apathetic about socializing and often they withdraw from friends and family. It can make the non-depressed spouse confused and infuriated when a partner won’t go to a family function or even a child’s soccer game.
A severely depressed spouse may have trouble going to work or even getting out of bed. Depression to this level can be very serious.
Also, when people are depressed, they sometimes lack hope that things will get better. As a result, depressed people sometimes don’t want to seek treatment or get help.
Provide Support
It is important to be supportive when someone has depression. Express your concerns and point out the behavioral changes that you notice. For example, say, “I see that you haven’t wanted to play golf at all this summer and you stopped going to the gym. I’m concerned about you.”
Sometimes depressed people have excuses or try to deny their feelings. A spouse may say, “I just haven’t felt like it,” or “I’m just not that interested in golf anymore.” These too, are signs of depression. A lack of interest in usual activities can certainly signal someone is depressed.
Ask if there is anything you can do to be helpful. Your spouse may be able to say, “I’m embarrassed to talk to my doctor,” or “I don’t know what to do because I’ve never felt like this.” If this is the case, discuss how you can work together on solving the problem.
Gently encourage your spouse to take part in activities. The more people refrain from doing activities, often the worse they feel. And although depressed people often don’t feel like doing anything, many times they feel better once they do.
Avoid Enabling
Be careful that you don’t cross the line from supportive into enabling your spouse. If you enable your spouse, you’ll actually be helping them to stay sick. So beware that you don’t cross the line.
Enabling behaviors include those that take more responsibility for your partner’s illness than your partner does. For example, if your spouse refuses to get out of bed because he’s depressed, you don’t have to wait on him. If you deliver him food and drinks so he can stay in bed all the time, you’ll be helping him stay in bed, which is likely to make his depression worse.
Also, don’t take more responsibility for getting help than your partner is willing to do. If your spouse isn’t interested in counseling, don’t keep scheduling appointments just so your spouse can not show up. Or if your spouse has been prescribed medication, don’t take sole responsibility for reminding him to take it every day. A gentle reminder is fine but don’t nag or beg your spouse to take his medication. It’s essential that your spouse be willing to take some responsibility in his treatment.
When you enable someone you run the risk of keeping them sick and treating them more like a child rather than an equal partner. Neither of which is healthy for your relationship. It will also take a toll on your own mental health more than likely.
Self-Care
Taking care of yourself is essential. This means that you take steps to manage your stress and mental health. Just because your spouse is depressed, it doesn’t mean you have to join him.
If your spouse isn’t interested in attending family functions or social gatherings, it doesn’t mean you have to stay home. In fact, it is especially important that you continue to engage in social activities. And there’s no need to feel guilty if you are able to get out and enjoy yourself.
Also, consider seeking professional help for yourself. This is especially true if you find your mood worsening or if your sleep or personal care habits are interrupted. A counselor can assist you in finding ways to care for yourself and support your spouse.
Marital counseling may also be beneficial. A marriage counselor can assist you in taking a team approach to dealing with the depression and can address problems that the depression may be causing the marriage. And if your partner refuses to attend, consider going by yourself. One person attending marriage counseling is better than none.
More Details Visit Us On: www.lagnavidhi.com
Understand the Illness
Try not to take your spouse’s depression personally. Sometimes people think they can cheer up a depressed person or that their love alone will cure the depression. However, depression usually requires treatment in order to be resolved. Tradition treatment may come in the form of therapy, medication or a combination of the two.
Depression can make people irritable and angry in addition to sad. It can cause people to be apathetic about socializing and often they withdraw from friends and family. It can make the non-depressed spouse confused and infuriated when a partner won’t go to a family function or even a child’s soccer game.
A severely depressed spouse may have trouble going to work or even getting out of bed. Depression to this level can be very serious.
Also, when people are depressed, they sometimes lack hope that things will get better. As a result, depressed people sometimes don’t want to seek treatment or get help.
Provide Support
It is important to be supportive when someone has depression. Express your concerns and point out the behavioral changes that you notice. For example, say, “I see that you haven’t wanted to play golf at all this summer and you stopped going to the gym. I’m concerned about you.”
Sometimes depressed people have excuses or try to deny their feelings. A spouse may say, “I just haven’t felt like it,” or “I’m just not that interested in golf anymore.” These too, are signs of depression. A lack of interest in usual activities can certainly signal someone is depressed.
Ask if there is anything you can do to be helpful. Your spouse may be able to say, “I’m embarrassed to talk to my doctor,” or “I don’t know what to do because I’ve never felt like this.” If this is the case, discuss how you can work together on solving the problem.
Gently encourage your spouse to take part in activities. The more people refrain from doing activities, often the worse they feel. And although depressed people often don’t feel like doing anything, many times they feel better once they do.
Avoid Enabling
Be careful that you don’t cross the line from supportive into enabling your spouse. If you enable your spouse, you’ll actually be helping them to stay sick. So beware that you don’t cross the line.
Enabling behaviors include those that take more responsibility for your partner’s illness than your partner does. For example, if your spouse refuses to get out of bed because he’s depressed, you don’t have to wait on him. If you deliver him food and drinks so he can stay in bed all the time, you’ll be helping him stay in bed, which is likely to make his depression worse.
Also, don’t take more responsibility for getting help than your partner is willing to do. If your spouse isn’t interested in counseling, don’t keep scheduling appointments just so your spouse can not show up. Or if your spouse has been prescribed medication, don’t take sole responsibility for reminding him to take it every day. A gentle reminder is fine but don’t nag or beg your spouse to take his medication. It’s essential that your spouse be willing to take some responsibility in his treatment.
When you enable someone you run the risk of keeping them sick and treating them more like a child rather than an equal partner. Neither of which is healthy for your relationship. It will also take a toll on your own mental health more than likely.
Self-Care
Taking care of yourself is essential. This means that you take steps to manage your stress and mental health. Just because your spouse is depressed, it doesn’t mean you have to join him.
If your spouse isn’t interested in attending family functions or social gatherings, it doesn’t mean you have to stay home. In fact, it is especially important that you continue to engage in social activities. And there’s no need to feel guilty if you are able to get out and enjoy yourself.
Also, consider seeking professional help for yourself. This is especially true if you find your mood worsening or if your sleep or personal care habits are interrupted. A counselor can assist you in finding ways to care for yourself and support your spouse.
Marital counseling may also be beneficial. A marriage counselor can assist you in taking a team approach to dealing with the depression and can address problems that the depression may be causing the marriage. And if your partner refuses to attend, consider going by yourself. One person attending marriage counseling is better than none.
More Details Visit Us On: www.lagnavidhi.com
Tuesday 13 September 2016
A Trip to the Grand Canyon means Fun, Romance, and Adventure
If you’ve spent any time in America’s National Parks, you probably know that each and every one of them has something special to offer, from amazing history to natural formations that’ll blow your mind. Everyone has their own favorite National Park, and usually for a variety of reasons, but ask just about anyone who’s visited a large number of the parks which is the most beautiful and, without a doubt, the Grand Canyon National Park will often be the answer.
It’s easy to understand why! Regardless of season, there’s always plenty to see and do at the Grand Canyon, whether you’re just interested in snapping photos and watching the sunrise, or are the type who wants to literally “get in deep” and explore the landscape of this breathtaking destination. You can spend just a few hours at the canyon or you can spend days there. All will depend on what your wish to accomplish while you’re there.
A Relaxing, Romantic Grand Canyon Getaway
If you and that special someone simply want to find a great place where you can unwind for a few days, the Grand Canyon is an excellent choice. The sheer beauty of the place evokes calm and you’ll no doubt feel refreshed when you’ve completed your trip.
There’s lots of romance to be had during a relaxing Grand Canyon vacation. Start by booking a room at El Tovar Lodge, one of seven lodging options within the park and, by far, and grandest of all. Built in 1905, it was fully renovated for its 100th birthday and though it’s not ultra-fancy, it’s elegantly comfortable with big beds and lovely vintage-looking furniture. A National Historic Monument, it’s located on the South Rim and provides incredible views of the National Park. Splurge on a suite for a few days – most include a porch or balcony for your own private viewing pleasure!
If you’re seeking a little extra romance, you’ll need to include watching the sunset and sunrise on your itinerary Ask park rangers or hotel personnel to clue you in on the best places from which to watch, then sit back and enjoy the show! The colors of the sunsets and sunrises at the Grand Canyon are nothing short of phenomenal and you’ll be glad to have experienced their beauty while standing beside the one you love.
An Active Grand Canyon Vacation
If you’re not the kind of couple that enjoys sitting around waiting for the sun to rise, you’ll find that there’s enough to do to keep you busy for days…and then some.
Wanna take an around-the-rim tour? These tours are one of those once-in-a-lifetime experiences, no matter how you choose to go, and though they are perfectly safe (there’s always some risk, of course), they aren’t for the faint of heart, so keep that in mind if you’ve got some phobias about heights.
The most popular way to explore the rim is via mule down the Bright Angel Trail. The one-day excursion is a seven hour round-trip journey that takes visitors to a spot about 1,000 feet above the Colorado River. Or take the overnight mule trip, which travels the whole distance of the trail and lands at Phantom Ranch. Short rim tours – about one hour to half-a-day – are available as well.
If riding bikes is one of your favorite couple’s activities, you can do a bike rim tour instead. There are all sorts of possibilities for this and many of the trails in the park are multi-use and accommodate cyclists. For a good first time ride at the canyon, consider eight-mile Hermit Trail, where you’ll find exhilirating sights that you simply must stop to admire. Bring your camera!
Of course, many couples travel to the Grand Canyon specifically to enjoy a rafting adventure on the Colorado River. As with hiking and biking and other tours, there are several options for rafting, from short half-day and one-day trips to those that can take as long as 2 weeks. Check out the official Grand Canyon website for specific information on rafting and when it’s best to go. http://www.nps.gov/grca/planyourvisit/whitewater-rafting.htm
Getting There
If you’re flying to the Grand Canyon, you’ll find that the closest airport to the more-assessible South Rim is Phoenix. If you’re heading to the rugged North Rim (open seasonally), Las Vegas would be your airport of choice. Both are more than 200 miles from the park. To get a little closer, you can sometimes book shuttle flights to Flagstaff (about 90 miles) or Grand Canyon National Park Airport, only 5 miles from the park.
Most people choose to drive from their destination airport via rental car. It’s a lovely drive when the weather conditions are right, but always be sure to check the forecast first before you start out on your journey. Many visitors who want an extra romantic touch head to Williams, Arizona and then hop the historic Grand Canyon Railway into the park.
When to Go
The ideal time for a couple’s getaway to the Grand Canyon – specifically, the South Rim – is fall or winter. Families have completed their summer vacations, hotel rooms are cheaper and easier to book, and you won’t find yourself elbowing for a good look at the view. The scorching heat is gone, replaced by lovely, mild temperatures in the fall (especially during the day) and chilly but not freezing temperatures in the winter. You may, however, have to deal with some icy park roads and trail closures during the winter months, so be prepared.
More Details Visit Us On: www.lagnavidhi.com
If you’ve spent any time in America’s National Parks, you probably know that each and every one of them has something special to offer, from amazing history to natural formations that’ll blow your mind. Everyone has their own favorite National Park, and usually for a variety of reasons, but ask just about anyone who’s visited a large number of the parks which is the most beautiful and, without a doubt, the Grand Canyon National Park will often be the answer.
It’s easy to understand why! Regardless of season, there’s always plenty to see and do at the Grand Canyon, whether you’re just interested in snapping photos and watching the sunrise, or are the type who wants to literally “get in deep” and explore the landscape of this breathtaking destination. You can spend just a few hours at the canyon or you can spend days there. All will depend on what your wish to accomplish while you’re there.
A Relaxing, Romantic Grand Canyon Getaway
If you and that special someone simply want to find a great place where you can unwind for a few days, the Grand Canyon is an excellent choice. The sheer beauty of the place evokes calm and you’ll no doubt feel refreshed when you’ve completed your trip.
There’s lots of romance to be had during a relaxing Grand Canyon vacation. Start by booking a room at El Tovar Lodge, one of seven lodging options within the park and, by far, and grandest of all. Built in 1905, it was fully renovated for its 100th birthday and though it’s not ultra-fancy, it’s elegantly comfortable with big beds and lovely vintage-looking furniture. A National Historic Monument, it’s located on the South Rim and provides incredible views of the National Park. Splurge on a suite for a few days – most include a porch or balcony for your own private viewing pleasure!
If you’re seeking a little extra romance, you’ll need to include watching the sunset and sunrise on your itinerary Ask park rangers or hotel personnel to clue you in on the best places from which to watch, then sit back and enjoy the show! The colors of the sunsets and sunrises at the Grand Canyon are nothing short of phenomenal and you’ll be glad to have experienced their beauty while standing beside the one you love.
An Active Grand Canyon Vacation
If you’re not the kind of couple that enjoys sitting around waiting for the sun to rise, you’ll find that there’s enough to do to keep you busy for days…and then some.
Wanna take an around-the-rim tour? These tours are one of those once-in-a-lifetime experiences, no matter how you choose to go, and though they are perfectly safe (there’s always some risk, of course), they aren’t for the faint of heart, so keep that in mind if you’ve got some phobias about heights.
The most popular way to explore the rim is via mule down the Bright Angel Trail. The one-day excursion is a seven hour round-trip journey that takes visitors to a spot about 1,000 feet above the Colorado River. Or take the overnight mule trip, which travels the whole distance of the trail and lands at Phantom Ranch. Short rim tours – about one hour to half-a-day – are available as well.
If riding bikes is one of your favorite couple’s activities, you can do a bike rim tour instead. There are all sorts of possibilities for this and many of the trails in the park are multi-use and accommodate cyclists. For a good first time ride at the canyon, consider eight-mile Hermit Trail, where you’ll find exhilirating sights that you simply must stop to admire. Bring your camera!
Of course, many couples travel to the Grand Canyon specifically to enjoy a rafting adventure on the Colorado River. As with hiking and biking and other tours, there are several options for rafting, from short half-day and one-day trips to those that can take as long as 2 weeks. Check out the official Grand Canyon website for specific information on rafting and when it’s best to go. http://www.nps.gov/grca/planyourvisit/whitewater-rafting.htm
Getting There
If you’re flying to the Grand Canyon, you’ll find that the closest airport to the more-assessible South Rim is Phoenix. If you’re heading to the rugged North Rim (open seasonally), Las Vegas would be your airport of choice. Both are more than 200 miles from the park. To get a little closer, you can sometimes book shuttle flights to Flagstaff (about 90 miles) or Grand Canyon National Park Airport, only 5 miles from the park.
Most people choose to drive from their destination airport via rental car. It’s a lovely drive when the weather conditions are right, but always be sure to check the forecast first before you start out on your journey. Many visitors who want an extra romantic touch head to Williams, Arizona and then hop the historic Grand Canyon Railway into the park.
When to Go
The ideal time for a couple’s getaway to the Grand Canyon – specifically, the South Rim – is fall or winter. Families have completed their summer vacations, hotel rooms are cheaper and easier to book, and you won’t find yourself elbowing for a good look at the view. The scorching heat is gone, replaced by lovely, mild temperatures in the fall (especially during the day) and chilly but not freezing temperatures in the winter. You may, however, have to deal with some icy park roads and trail closures during the winter months, so be prepared.
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How Divorce Impacts Children
ometimes couples considering divorce minimize how much of an impact getting divorced would have on their children. Children of all ages are affected when parents separate and divorce. It can affect their relationships, school and behavior.
Although most experts agree that if you’re constantly fighting, staying together for the sake of the children isn’t a healthy option. Instead, a better option is to learn how to get a long and keep the family intact when possible. For parents who do choose to divorce, it’s essential that they look at the drastic impact it can have on their children.
Divorce and Young Children
A lot of research suggests that the younger a child is, the bigger of an impact divorce can have on the child. Children under the age of 8 often have much difficulty making sense of a divorce. When kids don’t understand what’s happening, it can be especially difficult to adjust to the many changes that accompany divorce. Changes in living situations, only having the support of one parent at a time, and changes to daily routines can be very disruptive for children.
A study published by American Sociological Review in June of 2011 found that divorce led to setbacks for children in math. Also, kids from divorced families tended to have more difficulty with social skills. They were more likely to report feelings of anxiety, loneliness, and sadness and were more prone to low self-esteem when compared to children of married parents.
Interestingly, young kids began to have the most problems once divorce proceedings began. Although they likely don’t have a concept of what happens in court, they experienced increased distress which likely resulted because they picked up on their parents’ increased distress.
Young children often exhibit regressive behavior during and after a divorce. The stress of a divorce can lead to kids starting to wet the bed or it can make older kids revert to thumb-sucking. Young children also tend to become more dependent on their parents as they desperately try to look for reassurance they are still loved.
Divorce and Teenagers
While younger children often become more dependent during a divorce, teenagers often become more independent. Although it’s normal for teenagers to grow more independent and separate from their parents, divorce can cause them to do so faster and sometimes, before they’re ready.
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5 Signs that You May Have an Anger Problem
Anger isn’t a bad emotion. However, the behaviors that people exhibit when they feel angry can make it a problem. Anger problems are at the root of many marital issues.
Sometimes people aren’t aware that their anger is a problem (but often others around them are). The extent of an anger problem can be based on the intensity and the frequency of angry outbursts. Anger always becomes a problem when it starts to interfere with everyday life.
1. Relationship Problems
If you’re an angry person, it’s likely that you often get what you want but the consequence is that people won’t like you very much. For example, if you are rude to a waiter at a restaurant, it may get you a little better service. However, he’s not going to give you better service because he is pleased to have you as a customer. Instead, he’s only giving you better service so you won’t yell or behave rudely anymore.
This can be true in close relationships as well. Perhaps your family does what you ask. But, this may be due to their attempts to avoid one of your outbursts rather than out of love. For example, your mother-in-law may agree to only inviting half the family to a family event because she knows if she invites everyone, you’ll complain and threaten not to show up. So in an attempt to avoid hearing it, she does what you ask.
And anger can also cause lots of marriage problems. When one person has an anger problem, often the other spouse feels like she’s walking on eggshells. It can be difficult to ask for help if you know your spouse is going to yell, scream or throw an adult-sized temper tantrum. It can also be hard to speak up to your spouse when you disagree if you think he’s going to be upset so perhaps you stay quiet to avoid angering him. These sorts of things can keep the peace during the short-term but will cause relationship problems over the long-term.
2. Work Problems
Anger can sometimes lead to work-related problems. Quitting jobs frequently, getting written up by your boss, or having co-workers complain about your attitude and behavior can all be signs of anger management issues. Sometimes people say things to customers or co-workers out of anger. At other times jealousy and anger can fuel a person to sabotage a co-worker.
3. Health problems
When people don’t deal with anger in healthy ways it can cause physical health problems. People who are chronically angry tend to have higher levels of stress hormones within their body and this can have damaging effects over time.
There are numerous research articles about the negative effects of anger on health.OhioStateUniversity’s study entitled “The Influence of Anger Expression on Wound Healing,” found that people who struggle to regulate their anger tended took longer to heal from wounds.
There are numerous other studies showing that anger problems can cause breathing problems and can cause a person’s health to decline faster as they age. Anger problems can even have an impact on an adolescent’s physical health.
4. You Aren’t Enjoying Daily Activities
People who are chronically stressed and angry often lose out on enjoyment of everyday activities. Everyday stresses like waiting in line at the store or being stuck in traffic can incite a lot of anger and even rage for people with anger management problems.
People with anger management problems sometimes have difficulty putting things into perspective. Instead of being able to recognize that there are millions of cars on the road and some of them will cut in front of you, they often view it as a personal attack. They may think people are out to get them or assume that they are somehow being wronged in life.
5. You Become Aggressive
Aggression takes many forms. Acts of physical aggression can range from slamming your fist down a table to throwing something at someone to outright hitting someone. But aggression doesn’t have to be physical.
Verbal aggression includes name calling, making threats or trying to intimidate someone. Sometimes just a look you give to someone can be aggressive if you are doing it in an attempt to try and bully the other person into doing something.
Aggression can also include passive-aggressive behavior. For example, giving your spouse the silent treatment as a punishment because you are angry is passive-aggressive. Or slamming the doors to the cabinets while you are in the kitchen to let your spouse know you are angry is another form of passive-aggressive behavior.
When people are passive-aggressive, they don’t communicate their feelings directly but often try to punish or gain sympathy indirectly. Passive-aggressive people also may try to secretly sabotage their spouse’s efforts. For example, agreeing to go to a social event but then feigning an illness to get out of it.
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Sunday 11 September 2016
#The #Good #Marriage
Love conquers all.
The good marriage. Is it possible? Do you want it? Do you want to keep it? These are the ways.
Love does conquer all. But, it is not that romantic surge of love, which is sufficient, but rather the love that draws things and people rightly together.
The good marriage requires that each recognize how difficult it is for two people to live together in the first place. Each of the loving pair (even the not-so-loving pair) comes from a different background. Genetically they are different. In terms of background and expectations, they are different. In their thinking styles; in their love styles; in their desire styles, they are different. In fact, it is sometimes a miracle that two people can live together for a long time and still remain bound to each other in a most fortunate way. To tell the truth, I am one of a pair of them. We have been married for a very long time. And despite the difficulties (which were difficult difficulties at the time, I must say), we have not only survived but we have grown together. In fact, love, like vines, grows between people, given mutual tolerance, mutual charity, and mutual respect.
People do grow together. But first:
In order to overcome difficulties, it is important for each of the pair, each at the time, to stop being the self-convinced one. We all see the world through the eyes of our own assumptions, expecting other people to think and feel and see things the way we do. That is far from true. So the first step is to suspend your assumptions, stop being yourself, and join with the other person, almost fuse, and feel the other person’s opinion and point of view for a time. This requires a contract that one will talk at a time while the other listens and then expect the same from the other. You will find that this is a new way. The ordinary way is for each person to be hurt or angry or whatever else and retreat behind a wall into his/her own assumptions and sense of righteousness. The wall grows and the other person retreats even further into his/her sense of righteousness and so it goes. This creates conflicts, even wars between nations, let alone between people.
If you practice this, you will grow not only toward the good marriage, the lasting marriage, the most rewarding marriage but you will be growing yourself into a point where you become stronger in terms of your emotions, more patient, more wise because you will know yourself and the other person. You will also know people around you. This is a great reward.
More Details Visit Us On: www.lagnavidhi.com
#The #Good #Marriage
Love conquers all.
The good marriage. Is it possible? Do you want it? Do you want to keep it? These are the ways.
Love does conquer all. But, it is not that romantic surge of love, which is sufficient, but rather the love that draws things and people rightly together.
The good marriage requires that each recognize how difficult it is for two people to live together in the first place. Each of the loving pair (even the not-so-loving pair) comes from a different background. Genetically they are different. In terms of background and expectations, they are different. In their thinking styles; in their love styles; in their desire styles, they are different. In fact, it is sometimes a miracle that two people can live together for a long time and still remain bound to each other in a most fortunate way. To tell the truth, I am one of a pair of them. We have been married for a very long time. And despite the difficulties (which were difficult difficulties at the time, I must say), we have not only survived but we have grown together. In fact, love, like vines, grows between people, given mutual tolerance, mutual charity, and mutual respect.
People do grow together. But first:
In order to overcome difficulties, it is important for each of the pair, each at the time, to stop being the self-convinced one. We all see the world through the eyes of our own assumptions, expecting other people to think and feel and see things the way we do. That is far from true. So the first step is to suspend your assumptions, stop being yourself, and join with the other person, almost fuse, and feel the other person’s opinion and point of view for a time. This requires a contract that one will talk at a time while the other listens and then expect the same from the other. You will find that this is a new way. The ordinary way is for each person to be hurt or angry or whatever else and retreat behind a wall into his/her own assumptions and sense of righteousness. The wall grows and the other person retreats even further into his/her sense of righteousness and so it goes. This creates conflicts, even wars between nations, let alone between people.
If you practice this, you will grow not only toward the good marriage, the lasting marriage, the most rewarding marriage but you will be growing yourself into a point where you become stronger in terms of your emotions, more patient, more wise because you will know yourself and the other person. You will also know people around you. This is a great reward.
More Details Visit Us On: www.lagnavidhi.com
Should You Lend Money to Family and Friends?
If you’ve managed to be the “go to couple” when people need money, the good news, it means you are likely good with your money. Responding to friends and family members who ask to borrow money can be a sticky situation.
It can be difficult to say no when someone asks you for money. Money can ruin many relationships with loved ones. Unfortunately, it can also cause a lot of marital problems. Before a couple decides whether or not to loan money, they should work consider the potential risks.
Loaning Money and Marital Problems- An Example
Anna’s sister came to her to ask for a loan to get her car fixed. Anna felt that they couldn’t possibly say no. After all, her sister had to have a car to transport the children to their various activities and her husband worked hard but money was just tight for them.
Anna’s husband, Steve, wasn’t thrilled about loaning the money. He felt like Anna’s sister should go to the bank and get a loan or make some changes in her life if they weren’t stretching their money far enough. However, he didn’t want to come in between Anna and her sister so he agreed to loan the money.
As one month stretched into two, there was no discussion of repayment. Steve asked Anna often about the money and she would simply say that her sister would repay the money as soon as she could. Steve grew frustrated and resentful toward Anna’s family as time slipped by without repayment. As a result, Anna and Steve’s marriage began to suffer.
When a couple loans money, it can create marital issues. Often, both people don’t agree completely with loaning the money or they have different ideas about how to collect the money.
It Changes the Relationship the Borrower
When you lend money, it changes the relationship with the borrower. Instead of having an equal relationship, you become more like a bank. It is hard to treat one another the same when business is mixed with pleasure. There is often tension, anger and resentment when money isn’t repaid on time.
When you loan someone money, you now have an interest in their financial habits. For example, if your sister says she can’t manage to scrape up any money to give you a payment toward her loan, yet she also talks about going out to dinner with friends, it can be frustrating to hear. This can cause a rift in relationships when people who owe you money aren’t making good financial choices.
You Risk Enabling Someone
There’s also the risk of enabling someone. If you have a friend or family member who is constantly short on money, loaning them more may just enable them to continue. People who can’t make ends meet need to make changes. If they don’t, they won’t ever get out of the cycle. Loaning them money can just prolong the inevitable and it’s unlikely you’ll get your money back any time soon, if at all.
Loaning Money Like a Bank
If you and your spouse decide to loan someone money, the best way to do so is to act like a bank. Create a written agreement with terms of the loan. Most people who loan money don’t set up an official repayment plan. Instead, the unofficial agreement is usually that the borrower will pay back the money as soon as possible. However, these open-ended terms can lead to a lot of confusion and tension.
Write down the terms of the loan. Discuss when you want to be repaid and what the terms of the loan will be. Also, discuss what will happen if the money is late. For example, will you charge interest?
Alternatives to Loaning the Money – Gift
If someone has fallen upon hard times and you are blessed to have the money to help them, consider offering a gift instead of a loan. Tell the borrower you don’t want the money back. This can help preserve the relationship and rid the transaction of any tension.
Developing a Plan with Your Spouse
When it comes to loaning money, the most important thing is that both you and your spouse agree on a plan. It’s essential that both of you are in complete agreement with loaning money before you agree to do so. If one of you isn’t on board, don’t lend the money or it will only risk problems in your relationship. And if you do agree to loan money, establish a plan so you can agree on the terms of repayment.
More Details Visit Us On: www.lagnavidhi.com
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