Getting to know your partner after marriage

Your spouse is your best friend, one with whom you will share life’s journey.

It’s important to get to know your husband or wife better as they’re a special friend who will be with you forever. We thought a little guidance here might help newlyweds.

Make your spouse feel loved

Each person expresses love in different ways, while some like to write notes or share sweet nothings, there are others who like to buy gifts, help around the house and so on. Make that extra effort to understand your spouse’s expressions, preferences and priorities. Do not forget special days like your spouse’s birthday or your wedding anniversary, make sure these days are memorable. Be lavish with your love.

Respect your spouse

When there are major decisions to be taken, make sure that your spouse is involved. Never argue in public or in front of others in the family. If you have an issue, discuss it privately. If you have to advice your spouse, do this in a loving way, never ever nag or belittle your spouse.

Forgiveness is important

In the course of life, all of us make mistakes, some small and some glaringly big. However, have a forgiving attitude towards your spouse. Do not hold grudges. Once you have forgiven your spouse, do not bring up the same thing any time later. Forgive and forget. If you make a mistake, be gracious enough to admit it and seek forgiveness.

Active listening to build a strong bond

Most of us listen to our spouses while trying to multi-task or being pre-occupied with other things. When you listen, be an active listener. Set aside other distractions and tasks and focus on what your spouse is saying. Make eye contact and also use words like ‘ok, you’re right, that’s fine’ to show you are listening and also take time to clarify something he or she says that you are not clear about.

Be clear with what you expect

When you ask your spouse to help with a task or need to work on some other aspect of the relationship, it’s up to you to make what lies in your mind clear.

Don’t make comparisons

Each one of us is unique and has his or her own strengths and weaknesses. It’s simply unfair to compare them with anyone. For instance, as a husband, do not compare your wife’s cooking with your mother; accept she has her own individual style of cooking. If you are a wife, do not compare what your husband earns with someone else in the family. Accept your spouse just the way they are.

Make your spouse feel special

Little surprise gifts and thoughtful surprise acts like making a spouse’s favourite dish will be cherished. Be generous with compliments to your spouse. Plan couple time, outings that include just the two of you. This will make your spouse feel happy and loved.

Find activities to do together

You both can take up a hobby like say music or an activity like yoga together. This will give you both time to bond better.

These tips should go a long way in helping you build a happy marriage and a happy home.

The Art of Expressing Gratitude

We have so much to be grateful for! And like charity, gratitude begins at home.

There is joy in every little family moment. Your child snuggling with you, your teenager helping you with household chores, your spouse letting you watch your favourite TV channel; moments to be savoured and appreciated.

It’s not so much the increase in prickly incidents as much as the failure to celebrate joyous family moments that robs some of the lustre of married life. We are so wary of the trying incidents in our life that we tend to let celebratory moments pass by.

Always be grateful

If we pause long enough we will be surprised by the numerous familial deeds we take for granted. The early morning cup of tea, elderly in-laws who lend a helping hand, the spouse who assists in getting children ready for school, the children who do their homework without making excuses, the breadwinner of the family who works tirelessly to provide necessities – the list is in fact numerous.

How do we show our appreciation for what the other members of the family do for us? A simple “thank you” is as good a start as any. It’s probably the simplest and oldest expression of gratitude. And over millennia it has helped strengthen familial bonds, motivate the spouse and children and pre-empt friction.

Expressing gratitude? Do it right

However, expressing gratitude is a double-edged sword; if not done correctly it can have some consequences. Expressing gratitude is an art. It should not be given a broad-brush treatment. It has to be spontaneous. It has to relate to something specific. And it has to be sincere.

When we appreciate the good moments we also appreciate the people who make good things happen. This makes those around us feel important and motivates them to do even better.

If this expression of gratitude is public – in the presence of friends and relatives – the impact is even greater. It not only draws attention to the goodness of our kith and kin, it also draws attention to the fact of how appreciative we are of their help and understanding.

Everyone deserves appreciation

“I have worked for so many years, and I have achieved so much that is praiseworthy, but not a word of appreciation. The moment I commit one mistake and everyone is ready to pounce on me…”

This is a common refrain of many careerists and our kith and kin. A genuine refrain. A refrain that many of us can readily identify with. We all crave appreciation. It is to an individual what water and sunlight are to plants. And it does as much good to the giver as to the receiver.

When we spend a few minutes a day appreciating and feeling grateful for the good things in life it increases our own happiness, advances relationships, repairs emotional fissures and keeps us healthier. But expressing real gratitude requires tact and care. It’s an art: after all the canvases are alive and the paints, a medley of emotions.

Managing Expectations In A Marriage

If you expect the moon and stars you’ll be disappointed. How to deal with them.

This is not to say that you should lower your standards when it comes to your partner – it just means that happy relationships focus more on giving than receiving. True love is like the radiance of the sun or the coolness of the moonshine – it shines consistently and unconditionally. That is the kind of love that makes a marriage concrete and everlasting.

Keep expectations to a minimum

This not only applies to marriage, but to all relationships in your life. The more you expect out of a person, the more you are likely to feel angry, upset or let down. Love doesn’t have to be slave to terms and conditions – if you really care about your partner, give them unconditional love. You will find that it makes you a much happier, calmer and fulfilled person.

It also empowers you in a way because now, the source of your happiness is no longer dependent on your partner’s actions; rather, it comes from “giving” to the relationship. When you love your spouse without any pre-set terms, you are able to embrace them with all their flaws and forgive them easily for their mistakes. This changes the dynamics of your relationship and makes your bond stronger and purer.

Discuss your needs openly

Just like you, your spouse may have his or her own set of expectations from you. Make an effort to find out what they are and try to fulfill whatever is within your reach. Talking about expectations in a marriage also gives you an opportunity to express yours so that you and your partner are in sync with each other. Do remember that your partner is only human and it is impossible for them to guess what is going in your mind unless you tell them. If you really want something, you have to ask for it. Open communication is the only way you can understand each other’s needs.

Nurture your relationship

A marriage fulfills your need for companionship and it possible that your spouse is doing a lot for you without you acknowledging it. It is easy to pile on expectations on an individual but it takes a lot of compassion an open mind to appreciate what your partner is doing for your. Thank your partner for being such a positive influence in your life and give your 100% in nurturing your relationship. When you both work towards love, care and understanding in a relationship, it becomes easier to manage your emotions when some expectations are not met.

Happiness tends to elude us when we chase it. Focus instead on making your and your partner’s life beautiful with unconditional love and companionship.

Why accepting your partner’s flaws will keep you happy

By seeing the beautiful side of our spouse, we can experience a blissful life. How?

All of us enter a marriage with a picture of the ideal mate and walk into it with rose-tinted glasses. The honeymoon passed by in a flash of happiness and then comes the ground reality. Your spouse may or may not possess all the qualities that you had dreamt of.

The word ‘relationship’ by itself means relating to something. Being from different families, your approach to life, belief systems, likes and dislikes might be quite different. The trick to a happy marriage is finding a common ground between the two.

Creating an honest relationship

When we say honest relationship, we mean a relationship, where both of you can be just what you are and be accepted for it. A relationship based on mutual respect where both can walk through life hand-in-hand savouring the commonalities and the differences. Agreed, your spouse and you may not see eye-to-eye on certain issues and he or she may have flaws but remember, you are not perfect either.

Shower your spouse with unconditional love

Conditional love is love given only on the basis of the spouse fulfilling set conditions and the demands just keep increasing. There is also continuous blaming. This kind of love is the path to marital trouble. Shower unconditional love on your spouse without expectations, he or she will reciprocate. Get off the blame game when things go wrong.

You can’t mould your spouse

Your spouse is an individual and has a right to personal dreams and traits. Do not walk into the marriage with the idea that you can mould your spouse to the ideal you have in mind. If you try to force your ideas, they could boomerang on you.

Look at the positives

Your partner may have flaws but do not magnify them. Instead, choose to look at the positive side and appreciate what your spouse has to offer. Be generous when you compliment your spouse.

Avoid sarcasm and gossip

Being sarcastic about your spouse’s flaws can be very hurtful. Words can wound quite deeply and leave scars that could stay for years or may never be forgotten. Do not badmouth your spouse to relatives and friends. Your spouse and you are a team and it’s unfair to let your team-mate down.

Accept responsibility

When there is a problem at home, do not lay all the blame on your spouse. Accept that you too have contributed to it and work together to resolve it and find a solution. Do a little introspection to see what you can do from your side to sort things out amicably. If both of you stay stubborn on an issue, things can’t move forward, so a fair amount of compromise would be needed.

Be forgiving

Your spouse is as human as you and may stumble now and then. If your spouse makes a mistake, be ready to forgive and forget. Do not hold grudges.

Accepting and understanding your spouse’s flaws and moving on will keep your marriage happy and healthy.

Learn how to build trust in your marriage

Trust is like a delicate thread that holds a marriage together. Learn how to build trust.

It is probably the most important ingredient in laying a strong foundation, and no relationship can survive in its absence. Building trust in a marriage is both a conscious and an unconscious process, which means that it is never too early or late to make deliberate efforts to strengthen the core of your relationship. Here are a few ways you can earn the trust of your partner and make your love bond rock solid.

Don’t hesitate to apologize

Saying “sorry” does not make you a lesser person but it goes a long way in healing the anger or hurt you may have knowingly or unknowingly caused to your partner. More than anything, it assures your partner that they are important to you and that you care about their feelings.

Be supportive in every sphere

Standing by your partner’s side in every situation is an important element in building everlasting trust. Whether your partner made a mistake or is flawed in his or her outlook, don’t be judgmental or reprimand in public. Always take your partner’s side and reserve any debates or arguments for later when you both are alone. Opposing your partner in public will only make them feel attacked and vulnerable.

Be forgiving

Practicing forgiveness in your relationship will prevent hurt, anger and resentment from building up. When you partner is sure than you do not harbour any bitter or negative feelings towards them, they will be more loving and supportive towards you. Resolve any issues as soon as you can and avoid playing the blame game.

Make marriage your priority

Take interest in your partner and give them all your love, care and attention. Do whatever is within your reach to make them happy and try to fulfill their needs and expectations. When your spouse knows that they are your priority, it becomes much easier for them to trust you.

Keep your promises

Even children in kindergarten know that a person who does not keep promises cannot be trusted. When you say something, mean it from you heart and follow through with your commitments if you wish your partner to perceive you as a reliable, trustworthy person.

Don’t leak secrets

Marriage is the most intimate relationship of all and your spouse will often share things with you, which they have never shared with anyone before. If your spouse has bared their vulnerabilities to you, respect that faith and refrain from discussing the same with anyone else, even your parents or in-laws. Even a slight breach of trust may lead to a situation where your spouse is wary of sharing things with you.

Be honest and truthful

Never keep secrets from your spouse, and never lie. Lack of honesty is often the most common reason for the loss of trust between couples. Be it mundane happenings of the day or your deepest feelings, share them openly with your spouse. Don’t be secretive about where you are going or who you are meeting, and don’t give your partner any reasons to doubt your loyalty.

Is your spouse increasingly getting critical of you?

Criticism is healthy to any relationship. Learn to overcome it easily. Do it right now.

Sometimes spouses do become critical of each other. It could be that the wife’s cooking no longer appeals to the husband or the wife feels her husband is not caring enough for her these days. Here are tips to reconnect and forgive each other.

Causes for criticism

Many spouses get upset and shocked that their partners who were so loving and appreciative before suddenly become extremely critical, nit-picking even small issues. The truth is that initially couples are on their best behaviour with each other but later the submerged issues emerge and this causes the friction. For instance, the husband may not really like the wife’s style of dressing but would have initially avoided saying anything fearing he would hurt her but later could rake up the issue. The truth about criticism is that buried deep inside each is an issue unaddressed by the spouse. However, this is the worst way to express oneself and this will yield no results.

Stop criticising

Criticising is the worst thing that you can do to your marriage; it can create anxiety, anger, mistrust, shame and more. Venting your frustration on your spouse will only break the bond between you. First, stop the criticism.

Have a heart-to-heart chat

Got a few things that you don’t like about your spouse? Handle it maturely, sit down and have a heart-to-heart chat with your spouse. Do not criticize but rather provide feedback. Resist the urge to pour out all that you dislike about your spouse. Instead speak about how the negative behaviour impacts your life and how it makes you feel, angry, upset, belittled, frustrated and so on. In case you don’t understand or like something your partner is doing be open and ask why he or she is doing it. This honest approach is healthier for your relationship than making assumptions.

Love unconditionally

When you love your spouse, do so from the bottom of your heart. Love unconditionally, none of us are perfect, learn to overlook flaws and provide unconditional acceptance.

Focus on the positives

Remember how you both were when you first got married. Walk down memory lane and recall what attracted you to your spouse and refocus on those qualities. Look at your spouse with a fresh perspective.

Tolerating and appreciating differences

All of us have an ago, an ego that wants our spouse to bow down to our every desire and put it first. An ego that always wants us to have our own way. The trick is to step away form this power struggle and get ready to embrace your spouse’s differences, compromise and tolerate them. Understand that these differences can actually strengthen your relationship.

Re-establishing respect

Criticism results in loss of respect for each other, so both of you have to consciously work towards re-establishing respect. Work on changing your own behaviour. Respect is not just about courteous behaviour but also considering your spouse’s feelings, consulting your spouse on decisions and taking an active interest in activities he or she is involved in.

Better Money Management Post-Marriage

Learning to manage your money is a very important skill to ensure your marital stability.

While you may have been a carefree soul about money before getting hitched, post-marriage things may turn out to be different. Careful planning and candid discussions ensure that you don’t mess up your finances as a couple.

Set your goals clearly

One essential stepping stone to managing money better after marriage is that you have to tune in to your spouse’s goals, and this applies to both men and women. Calculate how much money you will need for short term and long term goals, and plan your savings accordingly. Also, learn to use money judiciously. Instead of depending on some bonus or windfall profit to fulfill your insurance needs, find more ways to augment your savings.

Save from your household budget

Even if is a minuscule figure, go push it into a recurring deposit. In fact, these days it is so much easier because you can do it online via net banking. Gradually, you will amass a significant amount which you can put towards investments or essential household purchases. Even a few thousand rupees saved every month can go a long way.

Discuss the needs and the dreams

So what if you do not have the fanciest car despite a good income. Discuss what your priorities are. Do you have parents to take care of? What about your higher education if you’re planning something? These are things may appear manageable initially but not planning or saving amply leads to trouble. Invest in short term bonds or tax saving deposits. Cut down on EMIs by choosing a good car instead of the best car.

Share the responsibilities

The puzzler in marriage is to decide how much money each of you can push towards savings, expenses or daily needs. It really helps when both partners shoulder some responsibilities. For example, if yours is a double income houselhold, one partner’s salary can go into a planning fund pool while the others can be used for household expenses.

Fish out the skeletons

Often, we unknowingly spend on things that we do not need or want. Make an exhaustive list of expenses and weed out the ones you can do without. For instance, do you really need all those channels on your TV? Or organic prune juice for that matter? Small things like these add up to big expenses over time, and you will be surprised at how much more you can save by being a little more aware.

Think mutual, not mean

The truth is that money matters are a handful to deal with. While personal perspective is important, your spouse deserves to have an equal say in the matter. Consider your age and your repayment propensity before you jump at a fabulous loan offer. Always weigh the monetary and psychological risk of paying back a loan over two decades or so. Think not only for yourself, but for both of you.

Learning to manage your money is an important skill that will ensure marital stability and a good quality of life in the years to come.

How to celebrate your first wedding anniversary

Celebrating your 1st wedding anniversary ‘your way’ is really special. Find out how.

Your first anniversary is a beautiful milestone in your marriage. It’s a year where you discovered each other in a deeper and more significant way. When adjustments and compromises were made. Celebrate the togetherness by making the day truly special for the two of you.

Gift something special

Your first wedding anniversary calls for gifting something that will hold sentimental value. It’s not the value of the gift that counts but the love. Good gift choices are a nice photo frame with the picture of both of you, writing a little poem or letter to your spouse sharing how much he or she means to you. You can even go for personalised gifts like a mug with your wedding picture on it. If you have the budget for it, a piece of gold or diamond jewelry would make a good gift.

Dress up specially for your spouse

There’s always that one dress in your wardrobe that will make your spouse’s eyes light up when you wear it. Take it out on your anniversary and wear it. Spray on your favourite perfume and your spouse won’t take his or her eyes off you.

Plan a weekend trip

A weekend trip can be romantic and make your marriage feel fresh and renewed once again. A hill station where you can go for romantic walks together in the rain or just enjoy the beauty of nature as you share thoughts is perfect.

Relive the moments of your wedding

Spend time together recalling your wedding day and the happy moments. Go through your wedding album or watch your wedding video again. You will be surprised at how much more you have learnt about your spouse and their relatives over the past year.

Get a special photoshoot done

One of the great ways to do it is to list out your favourite places in your city or town and ask a professional photographer to click some nice poses. If you don’t want to hire one, enlist a friend who would be happy to oblige. Go ahead and record some new memories for a lifetime.

Have a green anniversary

Let our planet share your happiness! Go eco-friendly on your anniversary, wear natural fabrics and eat locally grown food. Plant a tree if you have a garden, else plant a seed in a pot and watch it grow, reminding you of your strong and growing relationship.

Share a romantic dinner

A dinner by candlelight at a fancy restaurant is a classic option. However, you can also have a nice cosy dinner at home. Cook up a feast of dishes that both of you enjoy and savour the moments of togetherness during the dinner. Don’t forget a special wedding cake or dessert.

Discover your creative side together

Go for a pottery, Tanjore painting or photography workshop together. This will help you both enjoy each other’s company as well as create something artistic that you can be proud of.

These tips should help you enjoy a first wedding anniversary that will always remain dear.

The art of balancing personal and family time

You must learn to strike a balance between “my space”, “your space” and “our space”.
Marriage is a divine bond and its true essence lies in togetherness. There is a definite charm in doings things together and for each other – after all that’s what a happy marriage is all about.
However, for both wives and husbands, it is natural to crave a little “me time” on occasion, to just be by yourself and do the things you love, and don’t be surprised if your partner feels the same way. Marital life is a lot more fulfilling and pleasurable when both partners learn to strike a balance between “my space”, “your space” and “our space”.
This of course, means that both husband and wife should be willing to make adjustments. Marital life is a lot more fulfilling and joyful when you are able to make enough time for each other while tending to your career and other areas of your time. Here’s how you can perfect the balancing act.
Communicate your needs effectively
A person’s ideas of time together and time apart are largely influenced by their family values and personal preferences, and it is possible that your partner’s ideas may differ from your own. It is important to express your needs and find a middle ground so that your partner knows what to expect and does not feel neglected. However, when you are together, give your partner all your attention.
Encourage your partner to follow their passions
Encouraging your partner to pursue their interests simply means that you will have more time to yourself – it is a simple tradeoff! So let your husband watch that football game with his buddies and ask your wife if she’d like to spend the day at a spa. It’s a win-win situation for everybody. On weekends, you could plan an activity that you both enjoy.
Wake up a little early
Amidst your spouse, domestic responsibilities and family members clamouring for attention, it is still possible to steal away a few moments for yourself. You will be surprised at how much more you can accomplish if you wake up before everyone else. Use that time to workout, read a book, listen to some soothing music or meditate. Having a few moments to yourself early in the morning will rejuvenate you and prepare you well for the day ahead.
Chart out a routine
Following a set routine makes it markedly easier to manage your day and give every area of your life the attention that it deserves. For example, mealtime can be an opportunity for family bonding while a late night walk can give you some time to disconnect and introspect. It helps to set your priorities so that you can do equal justice to your family as well as yourself.
Making time for yourself is crucial for inner happiness and personal growth – it gives you a chance to rekindle your relationship with yourself and sort out your mind. Make sure you don’t get too caught up in your new life and lose touch with “you”.

10 ways to spend quality time with family
The art of finding time for those we love the most lies in managing priorities.
To achieve the right work-life balance and live a fuller life, you need to work on carving out quality time for your family. Most people just keep planning to devote family time but it never happens, the best way to create time is include it as part of your daily schedule and also make family appointments.
Go out alone with each person
Make each person in your family feel special and loved, spend time with them alone. Having a date with your spouse sans kids keeps the romance alive, go for a quiet dinner or a drive. Take each kid out individually and listen to his or her account of the day, ask questions about their friends, their likes, problems and so on. This enables you to provide undivided attention.
Share a meal a day
Family meals are a great way to connect with your family and listen to their concerns and share their joys. Get the family involved in the preparation of the meal, small children can do minor tasks based on their age like say taking the plates to the table while teenagers can help with cooking, buying grocery and so on.
Compliment your family frequently
Be generous with your compliments. You don’t have to wait for big accomplishments, even small ones like a pretty poster made by kids or a spouse doing something loving needs to be acknowledged and appreciated.
Divide household chores
Share the household chores with your spouse; this automatically enables you to spend time together. You also get to chat with each other along the way.
Go on family vacations
School routines, domestic chores and work keep us away form our family. Vacations are a time to bring back the togetherness, choose an exciting new place as a family where you will not only enjoy new experiences but learn things about each other that you never knew. Try to put away mobile phones, tabs, computers and such devices that isolate you from the family.
Get inputs
Get your family involved when planning what you want to do when you are together. It could be anything from going to the beach or shopping together.
Pursue an activity with your spouse
Go for yoga classes or hit the gym alongwith your spouse. If that’s not your cup of tea, you could take up hobby classes like cooking, craft and so on. If you find that too time-consuming find time to attend short workshops on subjects of your interest.
Play games with kids
Playing with your kids makes you feel fresh and young and also endears you to your kids. You can choose from outdoor games to board games and video games.
Buy special gifts
Gifts are a way of showing your family how much you love them. Take them out shopping with you to pick a gift of their choice.
Build happy memories
Celebrate occasions like birthdays and anniversaries in a creative and memorable way. These will be remembered forever. Besides this, it’s important to celebrate each day you get with your family by going that extra mile to build happy memories.

How to celebrate your first wedding anniversary

Celebrating your 1st wedding anniversary ‘your way’ is really special. Find out how.

Your first anniversary is a beautiful milestone in your marriage. It’s a year where you discovered each other in a deeper and more significant way. When adjustments and compromises were made. Celebrate the togetherness by making the day truly special for the two of you.

Gift something special

Your first wedding anniversary calls for gifting something that will hold sentimental value. It’s not the value of the gift that counts but the love. Good gift choices are a nice photo frame with the picture of both of you, writing a little poem or letter to your spouse sharing how much he or she means to you. You can even go for personalised gifts like a mug with your wedding picture on it. If you have the budget for it, a piece of gold or diamond jewelry would make a good gift.

Dress up specially for your spouse

There’s always that one dress in your wardrobe that will make your spouse’s eyes light up when you wear it. Take it out on your anniversary and wear it. Spray on your favourite perfume and your spouse won’t take his or her eyes off you.

Plan a weekend trip

A weekend trip can be romantic and make your marriage feel fresh and renewed once again. A hill station where you can go for romantic walks together in the rain or just enjoy the beauty of nature as you share thoughts is perfect.

Relive the moments of your wedding

Spend time together recalling your wedding day and the happy moments. Go through your wedding album or watch your wedding video again. You will be surprised at how much more you have learnt about your spouse and their relatives over the past year.

Get a special photoshoot done

One of the great ways to do it is to list out your favourite places in your city or town and ask a professional photographer to click some nice poses. If you don’t want to hire one, enlist a friend who would be happy to oblige. Go ahead and record some new memories for a lifetime.

Have a green anniversary

Let our planet share your happiness! Go eco-friendly on your anniversary, wear natural fabrics and eat locally grown food. Plant a tree if you have a garden, else plant a seed in a pot and watch it grow, reminding you of your strong and growing relationship.

Share a romantic dinner

A dinner by candlelight at a fancy restaurant is a classic option. However, you can also have a nice cosy dinner at home. Cook up a feast of dishes that both of you enjoy and savour the moments of togetherness during the dinner. Don’t forget a special wedding cake or dessert.

Discover your creative side together

Go for a pottery, Tanjore painting or photography workshop together. This will help you both enjoy each other’s company as well as create something artistic that you can be proud of.

These tips should help you enjoy a first wedding anniversary that will always remain dear.

How to plan your family

Are you and your spouse ready to bring a child into the family? Things to consider.

Family, friends and neighbours aside, your decision to start a family should not be dictated by outward pressure, but by your own readiness as a couple. How to prepare for your first child? Find out.

Some couples are prepared to become parents barely a few months into the marriage, while others might want to wait for a few years.

Having a child is a life changing decision, which will depend on several factors, such as your financial stability, career aspirations, emotional willingness and even your physical health. Needless to say, you and your spouse need to discuss these things in detail so that your hopes and expectations and well aligned.

Financial readiness

Having a baby requires major lifestyle changes and a bigger household budget – after all, there is now an additional member in the family. That is not to say that you cannot start a family unless you have lakhs of rupees in savings, but do make sure you have some corpus stashed away for the baby’s immediate needs. This should be easy if you have planned your finances well and have made some investments early on in life.

Emotional Readiness

Even though you may be well settled and doing well in your career, you may just not feel ready enough for such a big commitment. Different people have different thresholds and it is better to discuss your concerns with your partner before planning to start a family. This is especially important for women as they are going to be the primary caretakers of the child.

Physical Readiness

A woman’s body undergoes immense transformation through pregnancy, childbirth and lactation. Is your body ready for this? Both husband and wife should undergo a thorough medical checkup before you plan to have a baby so that any underlying problems can be treated in time. If you are suffering from any health problems, do discuss these with your doctor. Women nearing thirty must also keep track of their reproductive health, as infertility is a common problem these days.

Career Aspects

Each job comes with its own set of demands and you need to evaluate if you will be able to balance your career and your responsibilities as a parent. Will both of you continue working in the same jobs? How will you plan your maternity leave? What are your company policies on family planning? Who will take care of the child when you get back to work? Some forward thinking on these fronts will allow you to make appropriate arrangements and avoid difficulties later on.

Support System

Your decision to start a family will also depend on your immediate environment. Are there adequate medical facilities where you live? Do have extended family who can help you take care of the baby? If not, how are you going to manage?

Take stock of all these factors before you embark on the most beautiful and exciting journey of life – parenthood.

The art of balancing personal and family time

You must learn to strike a balance between “my space”, “your space” and “our space”.

Marriage is a divine bond and its true essence lies in togetherness. There is a definite charm in doings things together and for each other – after all that’s what a happy marriage is all about.

However, for both wives and husbands, it is natural to crave a little “me time” on occasion, to just be by yourself and do the things you love, and don’t be surprised if your partner feels the same way. Marital life is a lot more fulfilling and pleasurable when both partners learn to strike a balance between “my space”, “your space” and “our space”.

This of course, means that both husband and wife should be willing to make adjustments. Marital life is a lot more fulfilling and joyful when you are able to make enough time for each other while tending to your career and other areas of your time. Here’s how you can perfect the balancing act.

Communicate your needs effectively

A person’s ideas of time together and time apart are largely influenced by their family values and personal preferences, and it is possible that your partner’s ideas may differ from your own. It is important to express your needs and find a middle ground so that your partner knows what to expect and does not feel neglected. However, when you are together, give your partner all your attention.

Encourage your partner to follow their passions

Encouraging your partner to pursue their interests simply means that you will have more time to yourself – it is a simple tradeoff! So let your husband watch that football game with his buddies and ask your wife if she’d like to spend the day at a spa. It’s a win-win situation for everybody. On weekends, you could plan an activity that you both enjoy.

Wake up a little early

Amidst your spouse, domestic responsibilities and family members clamouring for attention, it is still possible to steal away a few moments for yourself. You will be surprised at how much more you can accomplish if you wake up before everyone else. Use that time to workout, read a book, listen to some soothing music or meditate. Having a few moments to yourself early in the morning will rejuvenate you and prepare you well for the day ahead.

Chart out a routine

Following a set routine makes it markedly easier to manage your day and give every area of your life the attention that it deserves. For example, mealtime can be an opportunity for family bonding while a late night walk can give you some time to disconnect and introspect. It helps to set your priorities so that you can do equal justice to your family as well as yourself.

Making time for yourself is crucial for inner happiness and personal growth – it gives you a chance to rekindle your relationship with yourself and sort out your mind. Make sure you don’t get too caught up in your new life and lose touch with “you”.